Why should one marry?

 Why should one marry?

Circular published on 1st oct 2007 at NC

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Marriage is the process of binding two minds and souls together. It is a sacred connection between a woman and a man. When a woman and man reach maturity, marriage is proposed between the two to start a new life of togetherness. The life one lived until marriage, whatever it may be, should change after marriage. Living with a person of the opposite gender is very interesting and thrilling, which will create happiness, joy and peace. There must be a difference in the way of experiencing peace, joy and happiness in each ones life, year by year and age by age. To have different kinds of experiences in life, one should definitely marry; otherwise, marriage is not required. Marriage is not for simply having the progeny , but beyond.

Marriage is really for providing safety and protection to each other. The love between a husband and wife should be pure and nobody should be allowed to enter in between that. The husband should keep his wife in his heart, and vice versa. Before marriage, parents would have occupied the first place in a persons heart, but after marriage, this position must be replaced by ones own life partner.

The sacred love between the couple need not be explained to others. Otherwise, it loses its sacredness. No parent will be generally against the peace of their children and they seldom come in between the couple. In case, anybody else, be it parents or close relatives or friends are trying to create a rift between a husband and wife, it should be thwarted by both. It is a life of sacrifice between both and should not be a life of adjustment. Both should understand the strengths and weakness of each other and behave accordingly. They must understand each others individual needs and try to accomplish them within their limits. Each should know the other persons earning and earning capacities. Each one should know the others friends and keep cordial relationship with all the well wishers. Since the couple is made for each other, they should not think of any alternative unless it is absolutely warranted. 

Marriage is a new life for everyone and must be prepared to accept the side effects. In general, the woman is more affected after the marriage than the man, since she leaves her parents and home, where she grew up with freedom. She cannot expect the same love and freedom from the in-laws, but it is her legitimate right to expect the same from her husband. She must adjust with the in-laws and has to sacrifice many things for her husband. She must study the situation in the new environment and try to change or adjust her way of life according to the environment. She must try to show love to everybody in the new place, and try to acquire maximum sympathy, love and respect from the in-laws. She must understand that her duty is not only to serve the husband, but also her husbands loved ones. 

The husband should understand that it is his moral duty to support and protect his wife on all rightful occasions. He should not leave her alone during crisis or at the time of some misunderstanding with her in-laws. He must pacify both parties and explain the truth from both points of view to bring solace and peace to both. He must understand that his wife is away from her home and belongings by purely depending on him for her life. He should not forget it, and maintain the sacredness of the love with her, at all times.

The following are the major expectations from a marriage in a sequence:

Peace and Solace

Joy and happiness

Sacrificing for the sake of love

Understanding each other. 

Preparedness to do anything for the other.

Respect each other                                                                                         

Equal authority on all issues

Open and frank discussion on all issues.

Minimise differences

Freedom to each other

Absence of suspicion

No reluctance to disclose secrets, or absence of secrecy

Openness to express ones feelings

Giving equal values to both parents

Both should decide together to help the parents, brothers and sisters of both sides, with regards to money, help, guidelines, advocating for right things etc.,

Each one should die inside, and use the ego to live with the other

There should be two bodies, but with one mind and soul.

Try to adopt same faith or religion.

Should have a common God Father or Guide.

Try practising spirituality in daily life.

Approach your God Father or Guide in times of crisis.

Ultimately, live together for each other without any ill feelings. 

Live happily after marriage and give happiness to all those who are responsible to your marriage. 

MARRIAGE IS NOT DECIDED IN HEAVEN BUT HEAVEN COMES DOWN TO THE IDEAL COUPLE AFTER THE MARRIAGE